Xerxes Break (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maddeninghatter) wrote2013-02-05 09:21 pm
maddeninghatter) wrote2013-02-05 09:21 pmIC Contact - Exsilium
[ Thirty seconds of tuneless humming--beeeeeeeeep! ]
maddeninghatter) wrote2013-02-05 09:21 pm
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I'll respond now.
( She hums, clapping her hands together. All solved! Sort of! )
Sorry to bother you over this!
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... ]
Sorry.
I... I don't think I've said that, so far. But I am - I am sorry.
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And she is not an ungracious person, if at times, she's tempted to be. )
Apology accepted! ( She fairly chirps. ) You keep a lot in, bottling and stuff like that. I'd say you should look into therapy for the anger thing, but I think we could all use therapists.
( Which makes her laugh. Collette doesn't take her own suggestion all that seriously. )
Glad we could figure this out!
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[ He tilts his head at that chirpy tone. ]
Hm.
I think... I really do believe... that perhaps, just possibly... that is also true of you.
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( She asks, curious. )
Or about therapy?
( At which point she's giggling again. Been there, had that! She glosses over bottling. Anger she has trouble holding on to, though it comes and goes, usually as frustration. Bottling? She's more guilty of that, but even then, she overflows her own cup of restrained emotion too often. )
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[ He taps the side of his nose with his finger. ]
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Not all of it! ( She says, amused at the outset. Her voice sobers into something more conversational; factual, after her own fashion. ) We've all got things we work through on our own. Besides, it's not like people want to actually hear everything I have to say. Imagine what whining from me would sound like! It makes people uncomfortable, and it makes me feel like I'm wasting time if I whine. No fun for anyone! And definitely not exciting.
( Forcing others to think about the concessions she makes or needs made, how things take longer for her, period, how this that and the other... nawh. Unless they were family, or paid, or mor recently, good friends, they didn't care. It was uncomfortable to be made to confront something scary -- which, for some reason, seemed to be what physical debilitations came across as to those without them. In how their eyes slid by sometimes, or they got nervous, not knowing how to ask.
She's not sure she can understand, but she's forgiven a lot of people for it. )
So yeah. Sometimes it's easier to be amused than it is to be anything else. My friend Kelly? She used to get snippy and angry. James would get angry, then get things done. I laugh. When you're in the uncute stage of life, after being a kid, before you're an adult, you find your own ways to handle stuff.
( Was that wrong? The other things she held in were partly so new she never knew how to process them. Then there were the secrets she was keeping for other people... aah, when did life get complicated! )
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I can't argue with any of that. It's not wrong to laugh at the world, when it disappoints you.
[ His sightless gaze softens. Wryly: ]
That said, it's also not wrong to elbow it in the chest.
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After all, that's a vice nearly everybody indulges in...
[ Now he giggles. ]
Goodness, can you imagine what Gilbert would do if he couldn't whine?
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( She offers without hesitation. There's no real comment to the rest of what he's said. Break is right. But she feels like he's wrong, too, though not in a bad way. She doesn't hide herself away. Isn't that being uncareful of other people's comfort enough? Making them talk with her, touch her, see her, deal with her? Feelings just feels like too much on top of that.
And she's so bad at separating them anyway! )